Last summer, after Joe Biden's stupendous pratfall of the first debate, after Trump's weird iconic brush with death in Pennsylvania and with Biden's hard-won ejection from the race and the substitution of his Vice President at the top of the Democratic Ticket freshly transpired, I saw one of the most frightening videos I think I had ever seen. It was a digest of a golf game played for charity -- eighteen holes. Trump played with a golf pro I don't recall the name of at one of his clubs, I believe in New Jersey. The pro was a clean cut bro with obvious barely contained admiration for his partner. (They referred to each other as "Partner" so frequently between the two of them that I wanted to call in a gay marriage priest for them after a while.)
The video I learned later was taped within days of the debate-- one of the strangest moments of which involved Biden caught in a fib about his handicap and both candidates talking trash about the others' game-- but before Trump's momentous Pennsylvania rally and Biden's exit from the race. In the video, Trump did not take advantage of Biden's absence or his sensational weakness to rub his face in his embarrassing self-exposure as a genuine dotard. The subject of politics-- or of Biden's golf chops-- in fact never came up. Instead the content of the video was a friendly and lively game of golf with Trump appearing to be in complete control. He joked amiably, talking only golf as he drove the cart, arm draped over the steering wheel, speeding along the narrow path like he knew what he was doing. On the links he solicited and followed the sage, Caribbean-lilted advice of his wizened caddy, Neville, an oracle on the approach to take on each hole given current conditions and wind speeds and directions.
I'm no golfer, but to my mind, Trump's game looked top notch. I thought if Biden had stayed in the race, and this video had gone viral, it would have been over for the Democrats, and probably should have been. It was still a bit early to have formed an opinion about Kamala's chances, but the Trump of the golf video was immensely charismatic and dare I say, likable. The decency of Trump keeping Biden's name out of his mouth when he could reasonably have been expected to lord his capacities over the dubious shell of a candidate-- of a human, and no doubt of a golfer-- that Biden had exposed himself to be was especially appealing.*
But there was a reason Trump had never seemed so likable to me: he was happily occupied with something other than absconding with the American treasury and imposing fascist rule on the rest of us. The contrast with how Trump had been at the reins of American power made the point for itself: instead of making himself and the rest of us miserable with the nastiness of a return to political office, why did he not just retire to a life of unmitigated golf for the rest of his days? What did he need with the headache of some dumb office he had already held that he was frankly lucky to escape with his life from? Wouldn't it be better for him to happily engage in an activity that I admired his skill at rather than one at which his pathological incompetence kept me in a state of unrelenting pissed-off-ness. Wasn't it better to have my admiration? How could I convince him?
Maybe he'll read this and reconsider this fascism thing.
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From https://trumpgolftrack.com/ June 30, 2025. Woodrow Wilson (another presidential dickwad) reportedly played over 1000 rounds of golf in his 2 terms but he had only a 100 handicap. Wilson's green time makes Trump (on track to match his previous term's achievement of over 300 rounds for a total of more than 600 rounds in his two terms) look like a piker but in spite of a reputed tendency to take liberties with the game, Trump has an estimated handicap of 2-- a presidential best. His habit has cost taxpayers an estimated $52M since January. Come on, Partner. It's time to retire and hit the green like you mean it. |
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* Which, granted, could have been edited out by the channel it appeared on. It's not like he wasn't capable of it.