I'm having a hard time with focus. Too much time on the computer, too much time on YouTube, too much time being tempted by the algorithm into watching hours and hours of a category of video called Epic Fails or Instant Regrets -- clip after clip of dinners being ruined, drapes going up in flames, roofs being fallen off of, merchandise sliding off shelves, structures collapsing with the builders still on them. I find myself hypnotized by what I can't disagree are failures of epic proportions captured on video and assembled (many of them apparently by AI) into socially irredeemable entertainment. The alternative is torturing myself with videos that bystanders have helplessly taken to document scenes of violent absconding of neighbors, co-workers, strangers by jackbooted masked thugs in out-of-state pickup trucks with makeshift generic insignia on their army/navy surplus in a cosplay of officiality. The videographers often interject themselves into the video in an attempt to get the thugs to answer to them; failing that to shame them for destroying the fabric of the community, for abandoning their humanity, for emulating Nazis. I wish these heartfelt interjections were more satisfying to behold. I find myself wishing for more from the citizens standing in for me and especially from the faceless mooks facelessly destroying peoples lives and homes with an infuriating entitlement. More shame hitting its mark, more anger making a dent in the armor, more immediate retribution and restoration of justice from the injustice unfolding before our eyes. More pain returned to the source.
I am aware that it's happening in parts of the heart of the metropolitan area I live in. I have yet to see evidence of it with my own eyes and I haven't even watched the local news about it, but I have overheard local anchors referring to it (passing through the room with the tv on) and I have of course seen clips of it here and there. It’s surreal to me at this point. Just another drip drip drip in the feeling that the world has gone to shit and more reason to worry about how / whether/ if there will ever be recovery from it.
The whole Trump/ Project 2025 agenda seems like something out of the twilight zone. The chaos of the episode is explained in the reveal that we are no longer on earth but have been somehow transported to a Dumbass Planet where dumb is smart, smart is dumb, bad is good, good is bad, beautiful is ugly, ugly is beautiful, lies are truth and truth is a lie. People may have voted to give booting immigrants a try not dreaming that that might mean they themselves if they are themselves immigrants. Or that it could mean that the future of labor in America is the necessary underpaid hard work that has been opened up by the expulsion of the immigrants who have been doing it. As though people had voted to stop the cannibalizing of immigrants only to find out that they were now on the menu. Hey! It’s what you voted for!
I want to think of the Trump and the Trumpers and the minions who eagerly serve as Trump's death camp drones as the D Students. And I realize that some students do poorly in school because we don’t know how to educate them or care to but these are proudly D Students who do poorly because they are spoiled rotten assholes. Because brains are how you get empathy for other people but these D Students are consumed with feeling only for themselves. Because of their class or their race or simply their status as white males they’ve never been punished for being poor at thinking. Au contraire, they are daily rewarded for it because their interactions with the world are a lot like a rock’s with a small precious creature.
I like to think that if I encountered a group of ICE bros tormenting a neighbor I would find the reserves of strength to not let it happen. It amazes me how civilly these invaders are treated in so many of the snippets of documentation that you come across on the web. But I am getting the idea that in the moment there is not much one decent person can do in the face of a mob of violent armed authoritarian doofuses. In the meantime, as I scour the recs put before me by the algorithm, I am holding out hope for some Epic Wins and Instant Gratification.