Adrift in a Sea of Longing

Beautiful art by I know not whom

I had to chauffeur my daughter on an errand last night.  It occurred to me as I was trying to remember where my wallet and house keys were that I had not left the premises for more than 2 weeks.  Maybe 3.  We've had a month of celebrations here and there in my household-- birthdays, Father's days (gag me), spontaneous bursts of creativity-- that I suppose meant someone was always going out whenever I needed anything so it just worked out that I never needed to procure anything for myself.  As a result, I am unintentionally quarantined.  

Being out in the world last night felt pretty odd.  A lot more people on the sidewalks and on the streets than the last time I was out.  Have they not heard COVID-19 is surging again?

Everywhere I look I hear people plotting to get back together. It's as if the nationwide protests broke the dam. Businesses trying to re-open.  People planning parties.  The firecrackers constantly breaking the silence sound like dynamite going off to bust people out of their cages.  We're clamoring to get outside of our houses and inside of restaurants.  When will the bars re-open?  Disney World has been promising for weeks that they will require arriving customers to have their temperatures taken if only we will-- for god's sake, please!-- just let them start gouging people inside the gates of their establishment once again.  Sports franchises are assuring us that they're taking every precaution as they plunge toward preparing to expose their athletes to each other and to other teams for short seasons played in empty stadiums, but some impresarios are trying to figure out a way to do live events again as soon as possible-- how about outdoors!  What's a little COVID between friends? 

Does anybody really trust that desperate capitalists and entrepreneurs are going to put public health over their own profits?  No, but it doesn't matter now!  People are trying to crowd every last inch of the 6 feet that they must, for the time being, remain apart from each other.  How heartbreaking.  People can't quit people.  I know you're bad for me baby but I can't help myself, I got to be near you. I won't get too close. I'll wear a mask! 

My heart will break for people and their compulsion to be among other people until my workplace succumbs to the pressure and requires me, too, to leave my quarantine and go back to being in the office with my colleagues in order to earn my daily bread.  Come back, baby!  I won't make you sick!  Promise!

What choice will I have but to enable the dysfunction by taking part.  You're going to kill me baby but I need to eat.