Creeping Solipsism

I realized today re-reading a couple of emails that I seem to have developed severe OCD of the mouth when it comes to business communications.  My sentences seem to end with the assumption that the reader has already forgotten how they started, so I keep repeating words—I shun pronouns and substitutions.   This is a bit extreme but it’s something like this:  Instead of saying “Skippy asked me to bring the book I borrowed from him when I come to visit.”  I say something like  “Skippy asked me to bring the book that I borrowed from Skippy in the past which is currently at my house, so that  when I next come to visit the house that Skippy asked me to visit I also bring Skippy’s book to it, it being the house that belongs to Skippy also that he asked me to visit and I said yes to, i.e., to the visiting question, and I also said yes to the bringing of Skippy’s book when I come to visit question as well.  Thank you.”   

This is yet another example of my dwindling faith in and growing questioning of the givens of social interaction (along with my increasing uncertainty about a growing list of many other previously assumed pillars of reality: the weather, politics, entertainment,  science).  The manifestation of the corrosion of my faith in sacreds and standards is not necessarily always going to be conscious, but on the contrary is more likely these days to be an unconscious organic outgrowth of a crumbled foundation.  To take spelling for instance: once upon a time I was a paragon of the art.  Now I find my writing is prone with errors.  I make mistakes of speed and carelessness like everybody, but more and more it's an excess of care and attention that's the culprit.  It's not that I don't know how to spell a word, but that I find myself second-guessing, and third and fourth and even fifth guessing, and all too frequently as I discover only in retrospect coming down on the wrong side again and again.

It's not as if I'm wrong about the arbitrary nature of orthography and grammar.  In the absence of an authority in whom to place your trust, how do you decide what's right?  I blame authority for my crumbling trust in authority.

By the way, in case I didn't make clear, in my example above, the "he" in the second sentence refers to Skippy.  Not to Truman Capote.