If I were king

King eight I

If I  were absolute monarch of the US:

I would declare education, child care, healthcare, welfare, mass transportation and journalism (for starters) free and universal.  I would forgive all debt and use the national treasury -- which would be fixed instantly by selective retroactive restoration of fairness in the tax system to Eisenhower era levels-- to fill in shortfalls for all of my subjects. Free quality housing would be constructed for all who need it.  Free fast unfettered internet access would be available for everyone. I would bring back public access radio and television.  Free hamsters would be available upon request. 

I would nationalize most essential industries and unfairly destroy any existing competition with rock bottom prices.  The management of the industries would make the same salaries as the workers.  Workers would be part of management.  Labor saving measures would result in shorter workdays and workweeks for workers with no reduction in pay.  Syndicates, guilds and unions would have a comeback.  Jobs would be guaranteed for all who want them when they want them.  Corporate Boards? Stockholders? The C-suite?... meh.

Environmental restoration would be a priority -- a sector would be decreed into existence to address it.  There is an added benefit: with corporate profit a dying priority and a decreasing motivation for paltry exploitive "job creation", displaced workers from the corporate sector would find a thriving job market-- of jobs that actually matter-- in the new public environmental sector.  Real estate and wealth formerly enclosed by a capitalist class would be reincorporated into the commons.

Science, industry, economics and AI would be oriented to serving everybody not just a self-selected "meritocracy".  

I would declare a new standard unit of measurement: the squench.  This would be the distance from Jeff Bezos's lips to my ass.

If I were king, corporate malfeasance and lying, pillaging and murder in the name of military adventurism would no longer be the only crimes that go unpunished.  I would de-criminalize everything, abolish police, prisons, criminal courts and lawyers.  Intellectual property would no longer be a thing. And incidentally, I would put an end to lying, pillaging and murder in the name of state military adventurism.

I would reserve a wait and see attitude on public executions of the malfeasant.

For my own amusement, I would decree that the balance of the bank accounts of every citizen (including those who now have a bank account only because of the free public banking that I would decree into existence) would be filled to match the wealth of the wealthiest person.  I don't know what would happen but I would very much enjoy the spectacle of money being suddenly abundant for all but valueless.

I would abolish political parties and elections and put in their place a system of sortition to select members of the legislature, executive and judicial branches randomly from among the entire population for short, non-consecutive terms.   Sortition would also be the manner of selecting individuals for certain essential functions of the state such as diplomacy, defense, the assurance of met needs, and the auditing of governmental functions.

I would stay in power to ease the new system into being until it is functioning smoothly.  I would gradually take my fingers out of the pie and at the right time, abdicate my throne abolishing monarchy with my exit.

Then I would retire to my public housing unit where I would live out my days signing autographs for the children and raising my hamsters.