Tuesday, April 26, 2022

Collective nouns

A pride of lions.  A pod of whales.  A raft of otters.  A flock of seagulls.  These classifications are second nature to the astute listicle aficionado.  Who decides a mess of beavers is a colony and a cluster of bears is a sloth?  If you are listening may I humbly propose the following:


A squinch of antivaxxers

A beige of accountants

An embarrassment of Clintons

A tuft of poodles

A crow of murders

A persistence of Elizabeth Warrens

An echo of CNN Analysts

A superfluity of pastors

A happening of cats

A stench of spokespersons

A thwart of memories

A glut of lawyers

A gobble of mercenaries

A barge of patriots

A bumble of Bidens

An aggrievement of Republicans

A beta of Democrats

A certainty of Libertarians 

A worriment of Socialists

A figment of Greens

A bother of accelerationists

A perfunction of America's Got Talent contestants

A hangover of flies

A necessary of underpants

An adherence of waffles

A waffle of Senators.

A neener-neener of prisoners

A pucker of wokescolds

A performance of bumperstickers

An abattoir of billionaires

A gabble of astute listicle aficionados.

A suspicion of conspiracy theorists

A conspiracy of shadowy government officials

A clutch of Baptists

A fine mist of unspeakable (as heck) readers

A cringe of contortionists

A spoon of elevator passengers


Thank you for your consideration.

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